Tag Archives: NFL

Preseason Picks — Revisited

Posted by SuckaFish

Before the NFL season started we predicted which teams would win each division, make the playoffs, make the championship games, make the Super Bowl, and win the Shttps://swagless.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.phpuper Bowl. The competitors were SuckaFish, Irregaahhdless, KilgoreTroutIII, and two guys I haven’t even heard of (Slothtastic, who may be a local television star, and LJizzle, who might play hockey in a mediocre fashion). Here are the results.

SuckaFish Irregaahhdless KilgoreTroutIII Slothtastic LJizzle
NFC Division Champs 2-2 1-3 1-3 3-1 2-2
NFC Playoff Teams 5-1 4-2 3-3 4-2 4-2
AFC Division Champs 3-1 2-2 3-1 3-1 2-2
AFC Playoff Teams 4-2 3-3 4-2 3-3 4-2
Overall Playoff Teams 9-3 7-5 7-5 7-5 8-4

Inside the Numbers

SuckaFish
Best Pick: Predicting 5 out of 6 NFC playoff teams
Worst Pick: Seattle winning the NFC West (It’s not that bad, they only finished five games back)
Still Alive: All four championship teams and both Super Bowl teams

Irregaahhdless
Best Pick: New Orleans versus Green Bay in the NFC Championship game. These teams look pretty damn solid right now.
Worst Pick: Tennessee winning the AFC South, Houston as a Wild Card team. That means he had Houston the Colts 14-2 out of the playoffs.
Still Alive: All four championship teams and both Super Bowl teams.

KilgoreTroutIII
Best Pick: Hard to find one, I guess it was going 4-2 on the AFC playoff teams.
Worst Pick: How about the Giants over the Bears in the NFC Championship game. It would be a good choice if either team had a winning record.
Still Alive: Only one team in either championship game and one in the Super Bowl.

Slothtastic
Best Pick: Nailing six of the eight playoff teams
Worst Pick: Having the two teams he missed, Pittsburgh and the Giants, playing in the Super Bowl.
Still Alive: Two of the four teams in the championship games, neither team in the Super Bowl.

LJizzle
Best Pick: Getting the second-highest amount of playoff teams, eight, out of the group.
Worst Pick: His horrible homer pick of the Giants in the Super Bowl.
Still Alive: Three out of four in the championship games and one Super Bowl team.

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Playoffs! Don’t Talk About Playoffs!

Posted by SuckaFish

Cowboys tonight, Patriots tomorrow. We at the SWAGLESS Network are fired up for the playoffs. Even one of the Swaglettes is channeling Jim Mora.

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All This Fuss Over Jeff Fisher? Really?

Posted by Irregaahhdless

It seems to me that Fisher’s gotten a lot of mileage out of barely losing the Super Bowl to the Rams. (Side note: Anyone who says that the Titans lost that game “by a yard” is an f-ing moron. First off, just because Kevin Dyson stretched the ball to within a yard of the goal line doesn’t mean that’s where the refs would have spotted the ball if time hadn’t run out. He was actually down about the two-yard line. Second, the Titans were down by seven at the time. So the TD wouldn’t have won the game for them, as folks seem to suggest it would. So I’d like the 11 Titans fans who make this claim to shut up now. Thank you.) And, besides that, wasn’t that game, like, a decade ago?

Even if Super Bowl XXXIV isn’t the reason Fisher has stuck around so long, I think everyone can agree that the Titans flat-out suck this season. Sunday’s 59-0 loss to the Patriots saw more than a few players simply going through the motions and looking like they’d prefer to be anywhere but a snowy football field in Foxboro.

Look, he's got a beard! How gritty! Would you like an undeserved three-year extension?

Look, a beard! How gritty! Would you like an undeserved three-year extension?

Yet, despite being at the helm of a football team that’s terrible and has no apparent interest in, you know, actually playing football, Fisher seems above reproach. (On today’s episode of “Pardon the Interruption,” Peter King, Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon seemed so distraught at the very notion that the Titans could be considering firing Fisher that you’d almost expect them to hold a telethon if the axe fell. And they’re not the only ones.) And I guess my question is: Why the hell is that?

In 14 full seasons and parts of two others as Oilers/Titans coach (Fisher coached the final six games of 1994 and the first six of 2009), Fisher has assembled a career record of 128-108. For the sake of doing some easy math, let’s say he goes 2-2 (yeah, that’s probably too generous, but whatever) in his next four games. That would leave his lifetime regular-season mark at 130-110 through 15 full seasons. That’s an average of 8.67 wins against 7.33 losses a year.

As Bill Parcells once said, “You are what your record says you are.” And, over the past 15 seasons, Jeff Fisher’s record shows that he’s a smidge above average as a football coach. So the Titans should definitely keep him — provided they’ve enjoyed 15 years of inconsistent results. (Oh and early playoff losses. Don’t forget those!)

Folks can go on an on about what a “tough” coach Jeff Fisher is and how great it is that he “respects the game” and how he’s the “longest-tenured coach in the league.” Whatever. All that means is that the Titans have had a mediocre coach who yells at guys for a long time. Good for them.

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It’s a Little Chewy

Posted by SuckaFish

Sunday morning. Maryland escaped against JMU the night before. The NFL season is about to really get started. Despite the gorgeous weather I know I’ll be locked in the basement with the Sunday Ticket from 1pm on, so the day starts with a family outing for breakfast. We live in an All-American city with a new town square. My youngest daughter pulls the Red Flyer wagon to the healthy diner.

The little one is slightly ashamed of the way her Terps performed the night before.

The little one is slightly ashamed of the way her Terps performed the night before.

The kids love the chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream. The adults have omelettes. We decide we’ll stroll the long way home and stop at the playground. We get outside and as the kids pile into the wagon the wife says, “Look at the parking meter.” Apparently someone had a better night than the Terps.

No parking in the rear

No parking in the rear

Practicing safe parking

Practicing safe parking

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Oh How I’ve Missed Those Ears

Perhaps the greatest innovation in fandom since cheerleaders, The Red Zone Channel in HD.

Perhaps the greatest innovation in fandom since cheerleaders, The Red Zone Channel in HD.

Posted by SuckaFish

Today’s the day. The real opening day. Thirteen games including the Cowboys at Tampa Bay. That game is at 1pm so at approximately 4:22pm I’ll be turning the dial to DirecTV channel 703. For the rest of the day I’ll let Andrew Siciliano and his glorious ears take me to the best action in the NFL as it happens. Honestly I don’t know how we did it a decade ago. Getting two games on a Sunday and seeing scores from around the league every 20 minutes or so. Oh what an age we live in. Thank you Sunday Ticket, and thank you Red Zone Channel. You’re the reason the terrorists hate us, and for that I love you.

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The Official 2009 SWAGLESS NFL Predictions

Here’s how the SWAGLESS NFL writers see the season shaking out.

SuckaFish Irregaahhdless KilgoreTroutIII Slothtastic LJizzle
NFC East Champ Philadelphia NY Giants NY Giants NY Giants NY Giants
NFC North Champ Minnesota Green Bay Chicago Minnesota Minnesota
NFC South Champ N.O. New Orleans Atlanta N.O. Atlanta
NFC West Champ Seattle Arizona Arizona Arizona Arizona
NFC Wildcard Teams Green Bay, Dallas Minnesota, Chicago Dallas, Minnesota Dallas, Washington N.O., Philadelphia
AFC East Champ New England New England New England New England New England
AFC North Champ Baltimore Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Pittsburgh
AFC South Champ Indianapolis Tennessee Indianapolis Indianapolis Tennessee
AFC West Champ San Diego San Diego San Diego San Diego San Diego
AFC Wildcard Teams Pittsburgh, Tennessee Houston, Baltimore Baltimore, Houston Tennessee, Houston Indianapolis, Baltimore
NFC Championship Game N.O. over Dallas New Orleans over G.B. NY Giants over Chicago NY Giants over Minnesota NY Giants over Minnesota
AFC Championship Game N.E. over S.D. N.E. over Pittsburgh New England over Pittsburgh Pittsburgh over N.E. New England over S. D.
Super Bowl Winner N.E. over N.O. New England over N.O. New England over NY Giants Pittsburgh over NY Giants N.E. over NY Giants

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Cowboys 2009 Week-by-Week Predictions

The SWAGLESS Network’s Dallas Cowboys expert, SuckaFish, predicts every game the ‘Pokes will play in the 2009 regular season.

See what their record will be at Surrounded by ‘Skins.

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