Tag Archives: Irregaahhdless

Preseason Picks — Revisited

Posted by SuckaFish

Before the NFL season started we predicted which teams would win each division, make the playoffs, make the championship games, make the Super Bowl, and win the Shttps://swagless.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.phpuper Bowl. The competitors were SuckaFish, Irregaahhdless, KilgoreTroutIII, and two guys I haven’t even heard of (Slothtastic, who may be a local television star, and LJizzle, who might play hockey in a mediocre fashion). Here are the results.

SuckaFish Irregaahhdless KilgoreTroutIII Slothtastic LJizzle
NFC Division Champs 2-2 1-3 1-3 3-1 2-2
NFC Playoff Teams 5-1 4-2 3-3 4-2 4-2
AFC Division Champs 3-1 2-2 3-1 3-1 2-2
AFC Playoff Teams 4-2 3-3 4-2 3-3 4-2
Overall Playoff Teams 9-3 7-5 7-5 7-5 8-4

Inside the Numbers

Best Pick: Predicting 5 out of 6 NFC playoff teams
Worst Pick: Seattle winning the NFC West (It’s not that bad, they only finished five games back)
Still Alive: All four championship teams and both Super Bowl teams

Best Pick: New Orleans versus Green Bay in the NFC Championship game. These teams look pretty damn solid right now.
Worst Pick: Tennessee winning the AFC South, Houston as a Wild Card team. That means he had Houston the Colts 14-2 out of the playoffs.
Still Alive: All four championship teams and both Super Bowl teams.

Best Pick: Hard to find one, I guess it was going 4-2 on the AFC playoff teams.
Worst Pick: How about the Giants over the Bears in the NFC Championship game. It would be a good choice if either team had a winning record.
Still Alive: Only one team in either championship game and one in the Super Bowl.

Best Pick: Nailing six of the eight playoff teams
Worst Pick: Having the two teams he missed, Pittsburgh and the Giants, playing in the Super Bowl.
Still Alive: Two of the four teams in the championship games, neither team in the Super Bowl.

Best Pick: Getting the second-highest amount of playoff teams, eight, out of the group.
Worst Pick: His horrible homer pick of the Giants in the Super Bowl.
Still Alive: Three out of four in the championship games and one Super Bowl team.


Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Open Wide for Some Soccer!

Posted by Irregaahhdless

Folks who only go to church on Christmas and Easter (hey, like me!) are labeled “C&E Catholics.” I’m sure there’s a similar term for soccer fans who only follow World Cup-related stuff. Whatever it is, feel free to stick me with that label, too.

I don’t watch the Premier League or La Liga (though I really think I need to start). The only time I was in the proximity of a stadium when an MLS game was going on was after the conclusion of a U.S.-Honduras CONCACAF qualifier. (The DC United played immediately afterward as part of a doubleheader.) I left. But, Christ on a bike, I love me some World Cup — so much so that I went to Germany in 2006. (OK, the prospect of consuming mass amounts of beer and hooking up with some cute gal from the Netherlands played a part, too. Also, for the record, only one of those things happened.)

Anyway, the 2010 World Cup draw has completely sucked me in today. It’s fascinating. The sport’s governing body broke the 32 qualifying teams into four pools. They’ll draw one team out of each pool to make up the eight groups for round-robin play. (The top two teams from each group advance to the Round of 16.)

The top 7 teams (using October’s FIFA rankings) and South Africa (the host country) were placed in one pool — helping to keep some of the top teams from picking each other off in the first round while also giving the host nation a (slightly) easier path to the second round (for the record, this doesn’t bother me at all). Otherwise, though, it’s open season. Could we possibly see a group of Spain (No. 1 in the world), Cameroon (No. 11), Greece (No. 12) and the United States (No. 14)? Yes, yes we could. And that would be F-ing awesome (except, you know, for the U.S.).

(By the way, I wrote out the above scenario while waiting for the draw to happen. I’m sure that we won’t get that group. But I’m also sure I’m way too lazy to go up and change my potential Group of Death. Just know that there’s going to be one and some really good team is gonna be done by the end of the tournament’s first week. Tremendous.)

Additionally, I love how we’re 188 days away from the start of the World Cup and teams already know their first THREE opponents. What other major championship lets you stew on something like “Holy shit, we have to play England in our second game” for six solid months?

Please note that about 38 seconds after typing the above paragraph, I received the following IM:

Sheinkin [1:09 P.M.]: US gets england. hmm. tough.

Is it too late to get tickets to Johannesburg?

(Also, in case you didn’t know where the headline came from.)

Leave a comment

Filed under SWAGLESS

Sorry, Charlie. (Actually, Wait. I’m Not Sorry at All.)

Posted by Irregaahhdless

So, Notre Dame fired Charlie Weis today. Whatever. What’s bothering me is the coverage of it. ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt (and he’s not the only one to say something like this over the past few days) just noted that Weis’ firing came at the end of “a 6-6 season when many were forecasting a BCS run.”

Really? Many folks were forecasting that? Can you name more than one for me, please? Because the only fucktard I remember doing so back in August was Lou Holtz. Everyone else was saying things like, “Lou Holtz is a fucktard for thinking that Notre Dame is going to a BCS bowl.”

Leave a comment

Filed under SWAGLESS

In a Tourney of “Pointless Online Writers,” Joe Lunardi is a No. 1 Seed

Posted by Irregaahhdless

I don’t have time to say that much here. I’m really just posting to get on the record that:

a. I hate Joe Lunardi’s Bracketology. (And, really, Lunardi, too.)
b. Doing Bracketology is retarded.

Last week, Lunardi released his 2010 tournament bracket. It was the first week of November. Nobody had played a game. Yet he thinks he can not only forecast the participants in the NCAA Tournament, but also get them all slotted and seeded correctly. Bear in mind that, in his day-before-the-tournament bracket done the past four years, Lunardi has gotten a team seeded and slotted right the following number of times:

2009: 11 (best ever!)
2008: 7
2007: 4
2006: 7

So we have them all in one place, his picks are being screenshot (click for full size) and saved right here:

Anyway, considering Lunardi averages about 7.5 correct picks per year (and when I say “correct,” I mean he gets the team, region and seed right), when he does this 24 hours before the tournament, how many is he going to get right here? I’m going with no more than three. And, really, if you’re doing something where you’re only getting 3 out of 65 right, what the F is the point? I mean, they really pay him for this?

Leave a comment

Filed under SWAGLESS

I’m “On Track” to Write a Post Bitching About Verizon

I’ve been traveling a lot this month, so I’ve been using my cell phone a bit more than normal (some work conference calls; some “why the hell aren’t you at the airport to pick me up yet, jackass!” calls). Today, I received the following text from Verizon:

Your account is on track to exceed your voice minutes this month. Call 866-884-2813 for a price plan evaluation.

My initial thought was, “What fine customer service there. Thanks, Verizon!” Then I went to the Verizon site to check my usage. Turns out, I’m already at 550 minutes for the month. My monthly allowance is 450 minutes.

Wow, I wonder what gave them an indication that I was “on track” to shatter my minute limit. Maybe the fact that I was already 100 minutes over (at 45 cents/minute) at the time!

Note to Verizon: When one has already done something, one is no longer “on track” to do it. It’s done. At what point did you geniuses note that Cal Ripken was “on track” to break Lou Gehrig’s streak? Game 2,137? 2,498?

(And fix your website while you’re at it, F-tards. It shouldn’t take two logins and 90 seconds for you to access my account information.)

Leave a comment

Filed under SWAGLESS

All This Fuss Over Jeff Fisher? Really?

Posted by Irregaahhdless

It seems to me that Fisher’s gotten a lot of mileage out of barely losing the Super Bowl to the Rams. (Side note: Anyone who says that the Titans lost that game “by a yard” is an f-ing moron. First off, just because Kevin Dyson stretched the ball to within a yard of the goal line doesn’t mean that’s where the refs would have spotted the ball if time hadn’t run out. He was actually down about the two-yard line. Second, the Titans were down by seven at the time. So the TD wouldn’t have won the game for them, as folks seem to suggest it would. So I’d like the 11 Titans fans who make this claim to shut up now. Thank you.) And, besides that, wasn’t that game, like, a decade ago?

Even if Super Bowl XXXIV isn’t the reason Fisher has stuck around so long, I think everyone can agree that the Titans flat-out suck this season. Sunday’s 59-0 loss to the Patriots saw more than a few players simply going through the motions and looking like they’d prefer to be anywhere but a snowy football field in Foxboro.

Look, he's got a beard! How gritty! Would you like an undeserved three-year extension?

Look, a beard! How gritty! Would you like an undeserved three-year extension?

Yet, despite being at the helm of a football team that’s terrible and has no apparent interest in, you know, actually playing football, Fisher seems above reproach. (On today’s episode of “Pardon the Interruption,” Peter King, Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon seemed so distraught at the very notion that the Titans could be considering firing Fisher that you’d almost expect them to hold a telethon if the axe fell. And they’re not the only ones.) And I guess my question is: Why the hell is that?

In 14 full seasons and parts of two others as Oilers/Titans coach (Fisher coached the final six games of 1994 and the first six of 2009), Fisher has assembled a career record of 128-108. For the sake of doing some easy math, let’s say he goes 2-2 (yeah, that’s probably too generous, but whatever) in his next four games. That would leave his lifetime regular-season mark at 130-110 through 15 full seasons. That’s an average of 8.67 wins against 7.33 losses a year.

As Bill Parcells once said, “You are what your record says you are.” And, over the past 15 seasons, Jeff Fisher’s record shows that he’s a smidge above average as a football coach. So the Titans should definitely keep him — provided they’ve enjoyed 15 years of inconsistent results. (Oh and early playoff losses. Don’t forget those!)

Folks can go on an on about what a “tough” coach Jeff Fisher is and how great it is that he “respects the game” and how he’s the “longest-tenured coach in the league.” Whatever. All that means is that the Titans have had a mediocre coach who yells at guys for a long time. Good for them.

Leave a comment

Filed under SWAGLESS

DirecTV Rewards Your Loyalty by Trying to Steal $10 a Month From You

Posted by Irregaahhdless

The lads at Deadspin already tore DirecTV a new one earlier this week. (Go read that. Really. I don’t mind. It’s excellent.) But in honor of my buddy Marc getting DirecTV installed at his new house today (in 43-degree, rainy weather to boot; no chance that goes well), I serve up this story as more proof that if DirecTV ever loses the rights to Sunday Ticket, they’ll be in business for roughly 11 more days, tops.

So I go online this morning to get my DirecTV bill. Since I’m equal parts OCD and cheap, I scour every line to see what’s F-ed up. They don’t disappoint. I see the following item on there:

09/01  11/30  SPORTS Loyalty Gift: 3 Months Free    0.00

Since I had to call DirecTV anyway to cancel HBO and Cinemax now that my “three months at half-price” deal is over (DirecTV won’t let you cancel these things online, since that would deny the customer of a quick, easy transaction without being read a 250-word script about all the championship boxing I’ll miss when I cancel; and, really, who’d want that?), I ask: “What the hell is this Sports Loyalty Gift?”

As it turns out, I’ve been getting the Sports Pack for free for a month and a half now. (Goddammit! How many motocross marathons have I been missing on the Speed Network?) And I’ll continue to get it for free for another month and a half. Of course:

a. I don’t recall receiving any notification about this. (I mean, maybe they sent me a message on the TV about it. But does anyone ever check those things?)

b. I ask the woman, “At the end of the three months, will this just stop showing up? Or do I have to call and cancel?”

The answer to the latter is, of course, that I have to call and cancel. If I don’t, I’ll be charged for the Sports Pack until I call and cancel it. And I can’t tell the woman on the phone right now, “Please cancel it on 11/29.” Apparently, that’s not possible. (Seriously, it’s really going to be something when DirecTV’s billing system moves off that lone Commodore 64.)

So, basically, DirecTV is preying on my “loyalty” by giving me something I don’t want and then continuing to charge me after the item I didn’t want in the first place isn’t free any more. Why don’t they just reward my loyalty by punching me in the dick?


Filed under SWAGLESS