Author Archives: swagless

Terps Hit Two Game-Winning Shots, Gary Is a Genius

Posted by SuckaFish

Down by one with time running out, Greivis Vasquez crossed half court and launched a desperation heave. As it hit the backboard and went through the net roughly half of the sellout crowd at the Comcast Center celebrated the apparent victory. The rest knew that it didn’t count. Just before he released the ball the Maryland bench had called timeout.

So with 1.5 seconds left and the ball near half court the Terps found an unlikely hero, Cliff Tucker.

And that’s why Gary is a genius. During the timeout he drew up a play that no one was expecting.

Eric Hayes had 15 points and hit a three to give the Terps the lead with 1:20 to go. Gary has him inbounding the ball.

Vasquez scored 18 and had become Maryland’s fifth all-time leading scorer earlier in the afternoon. And don’t forget his half-court heave seconds before. Gary uses him as a decoy running past midcourt and away from the basket.

Landon Milbourne is the second-leading scorer for the season. He sets a pick for Vasquez at half court and is no factor in the play.

Sean Mosely might be the best pure shooter on the team. He’s on the bench.

Dino Gregory meanders to the top of the key and stands there.

Cliff Tucker had only played nine minutes and made just one field goal so far. When the Terps absolutely had to have a big shot he’s the only player going towards the basket and getting into position to shoot. Pure genius.

Last season the play would have failed and “fans” would be calling for Gary’s head. What a difference a year makes.

The win puts Maryland (19-7, 9-3) in sole possession of second place in the ACC one game behind Duke. The Terps host the Blue Devils on March 3.

As the celebration died down Coach Williams was asked if he had seen Tucker hit a shot like that in practice, or anywhere else. After a long pause and a near chuckle Williams answered, “I saw him today.”

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Preseason Picks — Revisited

Posted by SuckaFish

Before the NFL season started we predicted which teams would win each division, make the playoffs, make the championship games, make the Super Bowl, and win the Shttps://swagless.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.phpuper Bowl. The competitors were SuckaFish, Irregaahhdless, KilgoreTroutIII, and two guys I haven’t even heard of (Slothtastic, who may be a local television star, and LJizzle, who might play hockey in a mediocre fashion). Here are the results.

SuckaFish Irregaahhdless KilgoreTroutIII Slothtastic LJizzle
NFC Division Champs 2-2 1-3 1-3 3-1 2-2
NFC Playoff Teams 5-1 4-2 3-3 4-2 4-2
AFC Division Champs 3-1 2-2 3-1 3-1 2-2
AFC Playoff Teams 4-2 3-3 4-2 3-3 4-2
Overall Playoff Teams 9-3 7-5 7-5 7-5 8-4

Inside the Numbers

SuckaFish
Best Pick: Predicting 5 out of 6 NFC playoff teams
Worst Pick: Seattle winning the NFC West (It’s not that bad, they only finished five games back)
Still Alive: All four championship teams and both Super Bowl teams

Irregaahhdless
Best Pick: New Orleans versus Green Bay in the NFC Championship game. These teams look pretty damn solid right now.
Worst Pick: Tennessee winning the AFC South, Houston as a Wild Card team. That means he had Houston the Colts 14-2 out of the playoffs.
Still Alive: All four championship teams and both Super Bowl teams.

KilgoreTroutIII
Best Pick: Hard to find one, I guess it was going 4-2 on the AFC playoff teams.
Worst Pick: How about the Giants over the Bears in the NFC Championship game. It would be a good choice if either team had a winning record.
Still Alive: Only one team in either championship game and one in the Super Bowl.

Slothtastic
Best Pick: Nailing six of the eight playoff teams
Worst Pick: Having the two teams he missed, Pittsburgh and the Giants, playing in the Super Bowl.
Still Alive: Two of the four teams in the championship games, neither team in the Super Bowl.

LJizzle
Best Pick: Getting the second-highest amount of playoff teams, eight, out of the group.
Worst Pick: His horrible homer pick of the Giants in the Super Bowl.
Still Alive: Three out of four in the championship games and one Super Bowl team.

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Playoffs! Don’t Talk About Playoffs!

Posted by SuckaFish

Cowboys tonight, Patriots tomorrow. We at the SWAGLESS Network are fired up for the playoffs. Even one of the Swaglettes is channeling Jim Mora.

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Cowboys vs. Nobody: Bye Week Cheat Sheet

Posted by SuckaFish

The Cowboys are off this week. It’s your chance to use the RedZone Channel and the Sunday Ticket to the fullest of your abilities despite the fact that DirecTV is going to use this time to screw you unmercifully.

Get everything you need to read before next week’s Cowboys kickoff at Surrounded by ‘Skins.

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Week 6 NFL Picks: Me vs. a Two Year Old

Posted by SuckaFish

Each week I’ll be picking games in a head-to-head competition with an intellectual equal, my two-year-old daughter. I put the logos of the two teams playing each other on the screen and she pointed to (this week there was a lot of “go away bird” or “go away man”) the team she prefers.

See the picks at Surrounded by ‘Skins.

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You Know How I Know I’m Gay?

Posted by SuckaFish

To be fair, the can I have is not pink. It's some slightly neutral shade.

To be fair, the can I have is not pink. It's some slightly neutral shade.

I’ve used Edge Gel for the last 15 years or so. My wife came home from Costco recently with a new brand for me. It’s called Skintimate. It looked a slight bit feminine but I’m a guy so if it’s there, I use it. Then I noticed the particular type was called Soothing Escape. OK, it’s definitely gay but what am I going to do, return it? Seems like a lot of work. So, I went looking for an image for this post and realized the site says Shaving Legs by Skintimate. I checked the can and it does say that it will make my legs incredibly smooth.

By the way, it does a great job and my face has never felt better.

UPDATE
I was concerned that the “Soothing Escape” fragrance would overpower my Fig + Shea Butter body wash. Great news, the (leg) shaving cream’s essence is amazingly subtle and compliments the “soap” very well.

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Midnight Madness: Terps Preseason Rankings

Posted by SuckaFish

Greivis says the rankings are this far apart.

Greivis says the rankings are this far apart.


Midnight Madness
happens in College Park Friday night. Here’s how the experts around the country, and some total f-tards, rank the Terps this preseason. The best is #17, the worst is #45. And Dick Vitale had problems typing from his knees under Coach K.’s desk.

Read the full post at Route 1 to Lot 1.

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